Loyalty to petrified opinions never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul in this world--and never will
                         ~ Mark Twain

~*~ Topic of the week ~*~
Loyalty

What are you loyal to?
Your family? Your job? Your country? Yourself?
And how does this loyalty express itself in your life?
Do you find that these loyalties expand your experience of being human, or restrict it?

If you find that your loyalty is causing you to feel limited, or trapped, instead of connected and expansive, it is because you are being loyal to a misperception about yourself. You are placing a limitation on who you are meant to be.

Who are you?
Any identity you can name, a wife, a husband, a mother, a man, a woman, a student, a landscaper, an artist, even a multimillionaire, are all limited expressions. And no matter how successful these identities may, or may not appear to make you be, they are not the True you.

Remember when you were a kid and you used to play dress up, or house or school or supermarket. The reason that playing those games was so fun was because when you were done you took off the apron, or put away the chalk board, or closed up shop and then went on to be fully present with whatever happened to be in the next moment, and the next, and the next.

Only the labels we place on ourselves and others have a past and a future
When we simply show up and extend ourselves without limiting identities or loyalties our personality recedes. It’s then replaced by an intense conscious and liberated presence, the Real you, which is very still and very alert while at the same time very open and accepting.
When we are in this intensely alive state of being we have no need to put labels on anything, we are simply present. And because we are present we become liberated from the need to think, free of the burden of time and free of all of the other baggage that comes with having a personality.
Once a person begins to identify with who they really are, and becomes loyal only to that, they can play at being any persona. They can don any identity what so ever and feel very free and expansive. The key is to realize that you are playing and that any identity is far too limited to be you.

We can’t create problems for ourselves when we are “loyal” only to being entirely present to the moment we are in and then letting go of that moment so we can be fully present in the next. Suffering and problems need time and space to develop; they cannot survive in the Now.

Think about the last time you were angry or in conflict with yourself or any other person. You may have felt that you were angry for any number of reasons, but it was really only because you had put a label on that relationship in some way. You gave that person a stuck, limiting identity and you gave yourself a stuck, limiting identity in order to "deal" with them and then you proceeded to interact based on those identities. From this limiting perspective you had no idea what the situation was really about.
You didn't show up saying to yourself, "I don't know who I am, or who you are, but I'd love to get the most out of this exchange, whatever it may be, so I will make that my only motivation," did you?
When preoccupied by fixed labels we cannot be present to the moment.

I experienced what I felt was a miraculous shift in perception after I'd decided to cease being so loyal to the labels I had placed on myself and others. Instead, I began to simply show up to life, admitting I knew nothing while at the same time being willing, to the best of my ability, to embrace everything. 

I'm no spiritual sissy, so I tried this out where I saw the greatest potential for growth.
I decided to let go of my personal label for mother.
I did this at a time when I had two daughters at home, an eight year old and a fifteen year old.
Needless to say, I was put to the test almost immediately. The next morning I watched while my eight year old got her own breakfast.
"You’re doing great," I said to myself, as I observed, because I hadn't scrambled to do it for her, the way my "good mommy" label would normally have prompted me to. 

Instead of getting my sticky little fingers involved in her business, I passively and appreciatively watched as she took out her favorite cereal, poured it into her bowl and then proceeded to very systematically add milk right up to the very rim until the cereal floating on top formed a perfect dome. Then she picked up her bowl and with exacting balance and agility carried it over to the kitchen table where she carefully placed it down without spilling a drop. She then happily put her lips to the side of the bowl and sipped out just enough milk so that her spoon could easily slide in and deliver the first heaping bite to her mouth.
I stood there in awe, remembering all of the other mornings I had missed seeing this little being create such a masterpiece. What an artist!
How many times had I grabbed the milk and cereal away from her, or her sister, just when I saw such an obvious spill in the making, or breathed down her neck until I caused a slop to happen and then murmured under my breath something to the effect of how inconvenient this all was for me as I mopped up the mess that my judgment and control and "good mommy" label had created?

The key to experiencing true happiness and success in this life is to realize that any identity is actually far too limited to be you.
We are the bringers of our own presence, of openness, of acceptance and embrace. When we choose to be this way the world lights up before us. And we see that what is already perfect has been lying deceptively dormant waiting for the one missing piece of the puzzle to arrive fully. You! The Real You.
All of this world’s wonder has been waiting for one who can show up loyal to only one identity--the one that embraces everything and holds onto nothing. A being does not reduce what is Infinite to the finite. 

If you want less, pressure, stress, and obligation in your life drop the loyalties to limited identities.
If you don't have a story, you and no one else has to live up to it!

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Personal Integration Exercise 

Reading this message may make sense but it will not become liberating for you until you try it out. So here is a way for you to experience your truest Self, in any situation:

1. Show up
2. Pay attention
3. Drop all labels and identities
4. Love
5. Don’t attach to any results

IMPORTANT!--I am happy to announce to those interested in Transformational Counseling, that I now have limited spaces available for consults, via telephone or email. To set up an appointment call 954-920-7870 or email me

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